A report on our camping trip and some photographic miscellany

I have to tell you, we had a grand time camping over Memorial Day weekend. We went to one of our favorite state parks in Wisconsin, Peninsula State Park in Door County. It is truly a gorgeous place to be. I was a wee bit nervous about camping with 2 kids, one of whom likes to crawl through mud, eat rocks, and bash his head into things, and the other of whom was just learning not to piss herself. Plus my parents were involved, and it is fair to say that their enjoyment of camping is tenuous at best. And my sister was trying to drag her surly boyfriend out into the wild as well, even though he strongly preferred spending the weekend tearing down a garage. Really, a recipe for disaster. But all in all, it was a disaster-free time. The weather was lovely during the day but chilly at night (and we were prepared for the chilly at night part). Phook maintained her pottying skillz and marked a lot of territory in the great outdoors. Pig ate a lot of dirt but didn't choke on any pine cones. Sleeping in the wild went well, excepting one rough night for Pig. Overall though, it just went well and was a lot of fun. (It would of course be better for my blog if it was a disaster, but sometimes you just have to accept the positives that life throws you rather than yearn for how you could have made that train wreck sound really hilarious on your blog.) So let's have a peek, huh?

Let's kick this off right. Big K is a big eater. A real big eater. We made pancakes one morning on our Roadtrip Grill with the sweet tits griddle attachments we got for Christmas. (I've often thought of doing occasional product reviews on this blog, and that grill would be one of the items I'd like to expound upon...two fat thumbs up.) But anyhow, Big K made a griddle sized blueberry pancake for himself (note that it's larger than a standard size paper plate):

And then he wrapped the thing around a giant sausage. Not a breakfast sausage. A full-sized meal sausage from a previous dinner. It may have even been infused with hot sauce or something. He was disturbingly proud of having made the world's largest pig in a blanket:

While we were there, we were happy to discover that the campground offered some really nice playground equipment, which Hode abbreviates to "P.G.E." when she's trying to outsmart Phook. My kids really like to swing, so it came in handy. Phook, semi-pensively swinging:

Pig, not remotely pensively swinging:

And also, I at this point need to mention Pig's top teeth, which we refer to as "toppers" in this house. Yeah, he got his two top middle teeth. The unfortunate thing is that you could fit a third tooth between them. He is totally that kid. You know, the gentle giant hilarious headbutt kid with a giant gap between his front teeth. This picture captures it somewhat, but you'll have to probably click on it to expand it to see the true awesomeness:

And here we all are, happily swinging together:


We also took a couple of hikes. This consisted of Phook running ahead of everyone in the woods for approximately two miles or so, screaming, "You coming, guys?" I think I have a cross country runner in my family. It's unfortunate that those kids seem to puke a lot and cross the finish line covered in snot and blood, because none of that business is very becoming. But I believe she may turn out to be an adolescent trail runner who likes to elbow the shit out of her competitors when no one is watching. But I digress. We tried to capture a decent photo of us acting like woodland explorers, but it didn't work out. Instead we have Phook grabbing Big K's face to kiss him while dressed in one of her jacked up camping ensembles, Pig looking odd while clinging to his toy drumstick which at this juncture I think has the best chances of becoming his lovey, and me just looking like a tool in a track suit and a visor - but it's proof that we were there, right?

At the end of our hike, we were rewarded with a lovely view of the water. Phook regarded it thoughtfully with her father, and was quite excited about all the boats passing by. She told me that there were guys on all the boats lookin' for fish. I love listening to her observations about general shit when we're out and about. As much as it sucks once your kid is able to tell you off, the rewards of them being able to tell you what they are thinking are just unbelievably huge. Just listening to her chat about everything she sees is pretty much the highlight of my life.


While my mom does not necessarily enjoy the labor intensity of readying herself and my father for camping, or sleeping in a tent, or freezing her ass off, or being away from her deck, she's not one to piss in her grandkids' cheerios. So she was in high spirits the entire trip, and amused my shorties with tunes on the grass flute. She also looked a bit like the Unabomber, which was nice:

While we were there, we paid a visit to one of our favorite pit stops, the Plum Loco Animal Farm. It is a delightful mini-farm gig that is sized just right for toddler types. You get to feed animals, dick around in little kid-sized play houses, and generally have a lovely time. Here is Phook feeding a creature:

And here is Pig saddled up on a wild beast:


So that's what we did. We ate in the woods, we wandered around in the woods, we fed beasts for a reasonable fee, and had a great time.

Now, while I'm at this whole labor intensive business of posting photos, let's just continue on and regard some additional recent adventures. On Mother's Day, we went to the zoo. It was lovely. Observe Phook as she slides with glee:

Observe Phook as she pretends she's a gerbil:

Observe Pig as he enjoys his first carousel ride:

We finished up our day with lunch at a diner, which locals of the area will know as being famous for pie. Phook enjoyed licking the sprinkles off of a giant cookie there:

We also recently attended a wedding. Pig was very handsome and greasy at the dinner table:

Before I left for the wedding, I attempted to take a self-portrait of me and Pig. Unfortunately, a random serial killer snuck into the shot - and I didn't know it until I later reviewed the pictures, which was pretty dang funny to discover:

I also recently busted out the sandbox. The Pig loves it. More specifically, he loves to eat dirt. But whatevs. Have it your way, buddy.

One night recently, I had to cover up my plants on account of cold weather. Phook took the opportunity to nest in the covers I used - it was rather amusing to find her self-bundled in the blankets like this:

Also, Phook recently determined that she required another sibling. A green, overweight sibling who must sit at the table with us wearing a bib. And eat things like meals of salmon, asparagus, and roasted potatoes.


And finally, in this uncertain world filled with economic strife, climate change, raging nations, and my sister's phobia of hitting peak oil, I am going to leave you with one absolute truth. One indisputable nugget that I use as my personal bedrock for remaining sane in insane times. And that is this:

The Pig is ridonkulously cute.

The End.