Al Gore drinks out of the toilet

Let me explain.

This evening, after bathing my filthy children and putting the chubby short one to bed, Phook and I enjoyed a bowl of ice cream together. Big K was off attending to one of his many extracurricular activities, making this the third evening this week I've had no co-parent around during any of the children's waking hours, and as a result, I was feeling like I ought to take in some adult mental stimulation of some sort. With that in mind, I turned on the coverage of the Democratic National Convention for Phook and I to enjoy. You know, so I could continue to talk in toddlerese for awhile longer...only with people wearing ties yapping in the background.

So Al Gore came on and proceeded to give a speech that I rather enjoyed. As did Phook. She started gesticulating wildly and jabbering happily and excitedly as Al talked. She seemed to be giving her own political speech. "Read my lips...no new siblings!" Or something like that.

I was growing more and more amused as Phook raved like a lunatic during Al's speech. Then I asked her, "Phook, do you like Al Gore?" She paused for a moment in thought and then replied with a meaningful, "Mm Hmm." I repeated the question just to be sure, and she repeated the answer. I then asked her, "Where is Al Gore?" I fully expected her to point to the television. But she did not. No. Friends, she pointed at that fatass cat Uncle Growler, who was comatose on the back of the couch.

Maybe you had to be there, but I peed a little bit. That was awesome.

I've spent the remainder of my evening addressing the cat with statements such as, "Way to go buddy on that whole inventing the Internet thing" and, "Whoa, that Tipper is a hottie." And then I think I'm funny.

The best part was right before coming upstairs to go to bed, which has turned into writing this post, when I found the overweight animal teetering perilously on the edge of the toilet. I love it when post titles come to me with such clarity.

Funny shiz.

And also, if Barack Obama is not elected this November, I'm fuggin' out of here. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm out. Word.