I do not feel very wise

Yesterday after work, I went to the dentist for a filling. I was sitting in the chair, and Captain AssDentist says, "You've got that wisdom tooth back there. You know, I could just pop it out when I do the filling. You'll already be numb." After being reassured that my dental insurance would pretty much handle the expense and that the procedure was "no big deal," I consented to this swell plan.

And now I'm going to whine about it. The actual removal was truly no big deal (but really, what would be, now that I have GIVEN BIRTH?). But then I had to drive 80 miles changing bloodied gauze pads every 20-30 minutes as my face unnumbed and gradually got more and more painful. And I kept gagging on the gauze pads because my mouth is so (physically) small. I hit the ibuprofen hard all night, and it wasn't really all that bad. Today, however, I kind of want to die. The whole left side of my face aches, I have a chipmunk cheek, and I have a cavernous nasty socket in the back of my mouth that has me breakfastless at 10:50 a.m. In addition, Phookie slammed her head against my face 3 times, I accidentally smiled while having a conversation with a co-worker on the phone (nearly making my head explode), and a plumber was supposed to be here at 8:30 to install a new hot water heater (Merry Christmas, K Family), making me nervous about my oft-exposed bosom and preventing me from taking a nap, which I swear to God and everyone I am going to do today, since Big K's last words to me this morning were, "Do us all a favor and take a nap when you start to see spots," and he was serious. So I can't smile at my kid or talk to her without pain, and that sucks. Thankfully, I almost have all my hours of work in for the day already, so if I can make myself turn off the stupid computer, that will at least be handled. Oh, yeah, and it was also highly amusing when the dentist was giving me care instructions for the tooth and he said, "Just go home and lie down with your head up like you are in that chair." Ha! Do you know I have an infant? Unlikely that lounging around appropriately propped is going to happen. (It did not, for the record.) Why did I consent to this stupid, stupid plan?

In a related story, Big K is having all 4 wisdom teeth, plus a rogue random tooth in the roof of his mouth (I nearly broke up with him when I saw THAT for the first time during our dating years), extracted this Friday. It is gonna suck for him, and for me by proxy. Crap. I wish I didn't have teeth. I wish I could survive off of plankton or some shit.

I am annoyed.